i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I FOUND THE LEGS
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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