i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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