we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
