i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
