Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
try to milk me bitch
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
