Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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