please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
