i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
