Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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