i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
