I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
