This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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