she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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