Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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