so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
worst night to have a conscience
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
