I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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