Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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