I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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