remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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