I'm lost and stupid without you.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
