my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
