Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
