Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize