I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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