Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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