Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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