Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
