you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
