I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
