If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize