i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
