the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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