I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
