North Korea, Best Korea!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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