his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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