South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
