I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
