I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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