well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
