drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The air taste purple.
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