I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Drunk is not a location!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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