Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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