I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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