Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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