try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
