Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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