there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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