I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
