You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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