ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
