Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize