i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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