if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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