shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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