Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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