they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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