You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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