My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Randomize
