When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
