maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
