One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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