She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How does one acquire holy water?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
