i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
