I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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