I think my fart just growled at me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize