We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
