Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
how drunk are you?
Several
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
