Im at strip club and am horny
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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