yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
